Franco goes to Holyrood

By Noam Passerand, Our Fascism correspondent.


A delegation from the Spanish government has given evidence to a Scottish government committee concerning the current situation in Catalonia, the BBC has learned.

The SNP government had originally requested that representatives of the Catalonian separatists should attend, in a thinly veiled attempt to stir up trouble in the region. However, Westminster officials interceded and substituted the Spanish delegates, explaining that all Catalonian seditionists had now been sacked and were hiding in Belgium to escape arrest on charges of rebellion, so would be unable to attend.

The under-secretary of state for public conveniences, who led the delegation, explained to MSPs that the government of Spain had the best interests of Catalonians at heart and that it's state police were 'only following orders' when they confiscated ballot boxes and closed polling stations during the recent referendum on separation.

"If people are allowed to vote any time they wish, and for anything they want, where does that leave democracy?", he asked the committee. "The people must choose between state-sanctioned parties only, at a time of our choosing, or the result would be anarchy. This is why we have been forced to ban a number of Catalonian political parties, which just happen (by chance) to all support separation."

Another member of the delegation, a retired postal worker and grandmother, had travelled directly to Scotland from her hospital bed in Barcelona, such was her keenness to speak of her experiences during the 'fake independence' referendum.

"I was a member of a terrorist group of seditionists whose aim was to make the Spanish state look bad in the eyes of the world", she told the committee.

"My cell was tasked with repeatedly hitting state police officers in the batons, using our faces. You may have seen some of the images on international television. I now understand how misguided I was and freely renounce my former beliefs and colleagues.

"No one in the Spanish security forces has forced me to say this", she added.


In contrast to the spoof BBC across the Clyde, comments are no longer banned on BBC Scotlandshire News pages.

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