Scot Nat MP forced to apologise over 'joke' about killing English Soldiers
By Douglas Frazer, Surprisingly no relation to Lucy Frazer MP
An SNP MP had to apologise last night after coming under fire for making a sick joke in the House of Commons about English soldiers being killed after a mediaeval battle.
During a debate on Thursday, the new Scottish Nationalist Party MP for South East Brigadoon, Jock McSweaty, laughed about how the Scots defeated the English at Sterling Ridge then chased those fleeing the battle until all were either dead or had escaped over the border.
Since McSweaty, a former Queen's Counsel barrister, made the comments he has received angry messages sent to his Facebook page from English people upset over the Natz making light of ethnic cleansing.
Last night he apologised by email after being contacted by BBC Scotlandshire, saying: "I sincerely regret that my words were misinterpreted to wrongly imply anything negative about England and the citizens of that great nation. I've always had the highest regard for the Sassenach people."
During his maiden speech, father-of-two McSweaty talked about his constituency's chequered and colourful political past.
He said: "Brigadoon is the home of that great Scottish patriot, William de Bruce, who defeated the English invaders at the battle of Sterling Ridge, killed any deserters he could catch and chased the remaining English right out of Scotlandshire".
McSweaty then waited until the laughing, sneering and reassuringly traditional 'hear, hears' abated before adding: "Now there's a way we could have won the Referendum - but not one that, of course, I would recommend."
The 'joke' caused huge offence to the people of England and was condemned by Mr Speaker who said: "This goes far beyond unparliamentary language and into the realm of racist abuse." He then named Mr McSweaty and excluded him from parliament for two weeks.
The incident dominated the front pages of all the major newspapers for three days and was the lead item on the BBC and ITN news broadcasts all through Thursday. Channel 4 ran an historical piece on the Battle while Channel 5 showed photographs of the Royal babies.
Even Taiwanese TV depicted the historic events in one of their accurate and ground-breaking animated videos, which showed a bare-chested and kilted de Bruce bearing an unfeasibly large weapon.
On Sunday, Mr McSweaty was interviewed by both Alex Neil and Anne Drumar, although the latter was ruined by the now classic failure of the audio link to Scotlandshire.
The Telegraph newspaper posted his picture on Billboards all over England with the caption: "This Crazed Nationalist MP wants to kill you and your children".
As a punishment for sharing a party and a nation with Mr McSweaty, all of the other 55 SNP MPs were subjected to ritual humiliation in stocks which had been hastily erected on the Strangers' Bar terrace.
In line with long established Westminster tradition, peers, MPs and visiting members of the public were encouraged to throw wet sponges at the miscreant Nationalists in a ritual cleansing of their sins and purification of their dark Celtic souls.
A spokestoff for the Conservative Party told the BBC: "McSweaty and those other Scot Nat MPs got off far too lightly in my opinion.
"This was a very serious breach of parliamentary standards and a damned insult to everyone in England - a fine example of the nasty side of 'Blood & Soil Nationalism'.
"One hesitates to speculate what we can expect next from Scottish MPs? Will they, perhaps, call for the bayonetting of the wounded?
"Personally, I would have had the Natz MPs taken out and flogged and McSweaty should have faced the same fate as his hero, William de Bruce, when he came down to London."
He later added: "Can you just imagine the outrage if an English Tory MP had made a similar comment about the Jocks? We would never have heard the end of it!"
ED: Just for fun, we mocked up a little BBC video of what an English Tory version might have looked like.
We missed out the condemnation by Mr Speaker as that would have been automatic in the circumstances.
A Wilderness of peace : Uppity Jocks, Can't You Take A Joke?
The BBC would like to apologise for the paucity of related articles but when we checked only a single newspaper, and a purely Scotch one at that, appears to have considered the story to be newsworthy.
Due to the huge number of complaints, comments are no longer banned on BBC Scotlandshire News pages.