Oil find in Dorset 'a terrible burden' says Treasury chief

By Olly O'Fillick, our Energy correspondent

Sussex-oilThe estimated size of an oil find near Gatwick Airport has been upgraded to 100 billion barrels.

UK Oil & Gas Investments (UKOG) said the Horse Hill-1 well in the Weald Basin was now thought to hold 158 million barrels per square mile.

UKOG described the find as a possible “world class” resource with the potential for “significant daily oil production”, but insisted it would be a “disaster for the economy” of Southern England.

“Discovering huge amounts of oil is a terrible burden on any one country”, says Prof  Iprefer Cash of Gatwick University. “it distorts your economy and leads to huge volatility.

“The only solution is to find another country, preferably a neighbouring one, who can take over the exploitation of the oil on your behalf. Then it becomes a boon.”

Nat, Ally Bennett, Hugger Prime of the English Greens, agreed: “Discovering oil can destroy the climate of a country. In Norway the sun never shines, and in Saudi Arabia it never rains. Who would want to live like that?”

UKIP has reversed their previous out the EU position and conceded now England has oil it's imperative we pool and share this burden with as many other countries in the EU as possible. To shoulder such a volatile resource, that may end up being a large part of our GDP alone would be unthinkable.

In a briefing to journalists this morning (Thursday) Sir Nicholas MacPherson, Permanent Secretary to the Treasury, outlined the government's plan to resolve the problem of this new oil 'burden'.

Before any exploitation will be allowed to take place, a region broadly contiguous with the ancient Kingdom of Sussex will be reclassified as an 'extra-regio' territory, and will cease to be part of England.

Michael-FabricantAll income from exploitation of resources in 'New Sussex' will be paid directly to the Scottish Government, with a block grant being returned to the British government to cover expenditure in the region.

The level of this grant will relate to the population of  New Sussex and will be calculated using the new 'what a barnet' formula developed by ex Tory Chairman Michael Fabricant.

With a population of under 1.6 million, New Sussex will receive back just 2% of the total income from its resources, with Scotlandshire retaining the remaining 98% for its own purposes.

Experts say that, while this arrangement solves the problem of oil price volatility for the region, there remains a high probability that New Sussex faces military invasion by the UK government on behalf of the USA.

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