Why America Must Say No to Scotland’s Independence From Great Britain
By Derby Mack, Our US affiliate on "Hard Dawn (because morning is hard in America, much like the rest of the fu*king day)"
In September of 2014, the people of Scotland will vote on whether to declare independence from the United Kingdom.
There is no word yet on whether the powers that be in London will allow this  happen without a fight, but it certainly makes global politics that much more treacherous. The investigation that follows proves that an independent Scotland sets a very bad precedent for turbulent provinces the world over.
From Juarez to Quebec, Kabul to California, radical elements seek to disrupt national power with such breakaway movements. If the reality of Russia’s Chechnya is any indication, this is a disastrous notion that may end in complete societal collapse. A closer look at the specific parties agitating for this upheaval shows that socialism is [a] crucial element of this agenda.
A Spirited Culture, With British Protection
The Scottish are an admirable people with a rich history. They speak with a thick, guttural brogue that sounds more like German than contemporary English. Their love of soccer [sic] is only eclipsed by their love of whiskey [sic]. When the two are combined, we have a dangerous trend known as “hooliganism” in which white people riot in the streets and burn automobiles . Many of the most dangerous hooligans tend to be unemployed and dependent on “the dole.”
The dole is the British version of welfare and it is far more entrenched than any American system. Huge sections of Scottish villages and cities are composed of public housing projects known as, “council estates” and here, heroin addiction is common. Psychological health and street crime are two additional crucial issues facing Scots today.
Because of these problems, the Scottish people are not known to be particularly warm or friendly. They lack the maternal obsessiveness of the Spaniards or Romans. Their boys are not meek, but because they lack a normal family structure, they’re often morally undeveloped. The love of God and Faith found in America is unheard of in Scotland.
Without morality, many Scots tend to lack vision. Few are truly ambitious, and this can also be traced back to widespread use of government handouts. This dilemma is manifested in a physicality that is often flabby and slow. They do not prize a healthy and muscled physique as boys do in the United States. A weakness of body and spirit may explain their low birth rates. Scottish women take little care with their personal appearance, and the men are not endowed with any propensity for lovemaking, as the old saying goes.
Could Scotland Become the Next Cuba or Afghanistan?
It is interesting to note that the Scottish ploy for independence includes many socialist goals, such as minimuum wage schemes and nationalized childcare. The radical groups pushing for this are also demanding control of any nuclear weapons on Scottish soil.
Furthermore, they want to immediately join the European Union and form a military. Most offensive of all, they are attempting to seize North Sea oil reserves by bypassing American approval. These are not the methods of a nation which intends to be friendly the to the interests of the United States.
Scotland clearly falls within the American sphere of protection and has benefited greatly as a province of our favorite European ally. We, as Americans, have a responsibility to stop the rise of socialism all over the world, and that includes in anarchy-prone provinces like Scotland.
This proposition may appear difficult with liberal control of the White House , but our Congress still has much power in the realm of foreign policy. Republicans need to formulate a strategy and act quickly on this dangerous trend.
While we appreciate the Scottish people as individuals, they lack the maturity, depth and strength to operate as a nation in the sophisticated world of global geopolitics. There is too much at stake, particularly in a day when terrorists seize minor countries and use them as bases for their international schemes. The lessons of Cuba, Chechnya and Afghanistan teach us one simple thing: America must say no to Scottish independence now!
 Literate people would have inserted "to" here. We apologise for the poor grammar in much of this article which we have had to correct. Yet more proof, were it required, that splitting from London makes people unable to write properly.
 We are unsure as to why using the Cross of St George in the image is thought to reinforce this otherwise reasonable statement,
 Alistair Crymichaelmoore is more powerful than we had realised!
We didn't make this up! Access the original here for proof.
Due to the huge number of complaints, comments are no longer banned on BBC Scotlandshire News pages.
Comments or no comments, it's still OUR job to tell YOU what to think - NOT the other way around.