Catalonian Independence Movement an SNP front, claims BT

By Blare MacDugall, our Guest Purveyor of Purest Mince

catalan-national-dayI have just been given incontrovertible proof, by an impeccable source (me), that the entire movement for separation in Spain's region of Catalonia is nothing more than a front organisation for the Scottish Nationalist party (see image right).

The image clearly shows separatist Spaniards being given their instructions by their Scottish Nationalist handler. I have added some helpful annotations using Photoshop (version hate) to make absolutely clear what is going on in the picture, just in case there was any ambiguity or room for interpretation.

As if further proof was needed, the 'government' of Catalonia has just announced they will probably be holding their own referendum on separation LESS THAN A WEEK BEFORE ALEX SALMOND'S ONE IN SCOTLANDSHIRE!

This proves, beyond all possible doubt, that the two votes are being coordinated to give the natz the best chance of winning their referendum. It shows both that the SNP is clearly in charge in Spain and that the Spanish referendum is no more than a publicity exercise for Salmond's own separation plans.

In the same week, it has come to my attention that even our very name, Better Together, has been knocked-off by the Scottish National Health Service. This organisation is also a front for the SNP: it is run by the Scottish Executive, which is itself dictated to by Alex Salmond [©Anas Sarwar MP (hereditary)], and the name (SN-HS) is almost the same as that of the SN-P. What more proof of conspiracy do you need?

To make matters even worse, the health Service in Scotlandshire has been using the name 'better together' for their patient experience improvement programme since 2007 – that's almost 5 years before we even adopted the name for our own campaign. This is plagiarism by the SNHS in its most serious form – the retrospective kind.

But the prize for sheer cheek has to go to the swivel-eyed blogger, Rev Stu, who has reported on his dreadful, seditious blog that Labour and SNP supporters are both wary of alien invasion. And this is despite reports on this very channel that not only is alien invasion an inevitable consequence of separation, but that the current SNP-led Scottish Executive has no plans for how it would deal with such an eventuality.

As any invading aliens from another planet would clearly be coming here to avail themselves of 'the best of both worlds', a phrase to which we own the copyright and which the separatists have already attempted to steal from us, it is obvious to me that invading alien species are also just a front for the SNP.

The Rev's 'poll' also found that 8% of Scot natz wold be happy to nuke London if there is a Tory government there. This proves beyond any doubt that Natz, and Jocks more widely are an enemy within who must not be appeased. We shall fight them on the beaches... [Not the one in Dalgety bay, of course - we Brits got our revenge in there first! Ed]

The attempts by the separatists and their extraterrestrial allies to steal our language is an embarrassing admission that it is our pro-dependence campaign that is by far the best. By stealing our language the natz are admitting that they are all stupid and smelly and that they are totally losing the argument. I'm right about this. End of.

And as our language is English – and the Queen's English at that – they will not even be allowed to use it if Scotlandshire separates from the UK. No more than we will let them use the English pound, or the Bank of England, or let them hang on to our grand old English Queen. Everyone north of the border will be forced to speak either Gaelic or Catalan.

Shit, did I say 'they'? Bugger. I meant 'we'. Damn. I promised I wouldn't do another Mickey Moore. F—k! It's been a really, really hard week. I think I'm for the big heave-ho.

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