Separatist rioters spoil the capital

By our Political correspondent Nat Hunter

braveheartDozens of Braveheart-crazed nationalists caused havoc in the capital today as they took part in a rowdy and ill-disciplined 'march for Separation'.

In scenes reminiscent of the British riots, which destroyed the centres of many British cities in Britain last year, the protesters stormed through the streets of Edinburgh all morning, having rioted earlier in the Meadows.

Many had travelled all night to be there, and were described as “sweaty”, “smelly” and “a bit untidy” by one Meadows resident.

Shoppers and tourists alike were stunned into silence as the rioters, many in fancy dress, sporting Alex Salmond masks or wielding the separatist blue and white 'saltire', forced their way into Princes Street gardens where, for several hours, they mindlessly chanted and danced for their leaders .

Chief Constable of Lothian and Borders Police, Sir Robert Peel KGT OBE CBE BBC, said the riot had disrupted the entire centre of Edinburgh. “These foul-tempered, potty-mouthed neer-do-wells frightened the law abiding local reidents, particularly those from Morningside who had never seen a Separatist before,” he said.

“My officers eventually tried to 'kettle' them in the Nor Loch, only to discover many of them had spontaneously 'kettled' themselves already and were enjoying a nice cup of tea and a bun. In the end, we just let them get on with it - it seemed the safest course of action,” he added.

edinburgh-eckAt the very height of the disturbance, First Minister Alex Salmond had recklessly encouraged the rioters to new plateaux of separatist frenzy by shamelessly giving the impression that Scottish independence was an actual possibility.

Salmond deliberately addressed the throng. telling them he believed that “just as the skies around Scotland were lit up by meteors last night, this campaign will light up Scotland over the next two years”.

He then went even further, adding “I've spoken to many crowds in these gardens over the last few years but never to a rally of a scale and breadth and width of this great rally today.”

This stirred up the crowd of nationalist revellers, by now almost one hundred strong, causing them to cheer mindlessy. Some even fainted from sheer rapture as the tangible possibility of freedom finally became too much for them to bear.

mauritiusHowever, speaking from his palacial home in Surrey, the Chairman of the Scottish Affairs committee on being kicked out of Europe and never seeing any of your family in England again, Ian Davidson MP, told BBC Scotlandshire “They cybernat rioters is just pure plebs - it's high time they learnt their place. They're aw just headin' fur a spreadin', if ye ask me.”

Former Prime Minister Gordon Brown, commenting from Mauritius where he is on a fact-finding tour, said: “I knew there would be trouble as soon as I heard that some socialists were intending to attend the march. We threw them out of the Labour Party decades ago, so I know just how dangerous they can be. Thankfully, there are none left in the party now.”

Boss of the now defunct Scottish LibDems wee Wullie Rennie said, “I blame the SNP. But hey, what can you do, eh?”

Scottish Labour leader Johann Lamont was unavailable for comment.

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