Robertson warns independence would be "the end of my world as we know it"

By Leithal Yak, our resident cartoonist

Lord Robertson of Port, Malt and Shampers, the man who predicted devolution would be the end of independence, has now claimed that independence would be the end of HIM.

Robertson told a packed conference of US arms dealers that a Yes vote in September's referendum on separation would be catastrophic for the West - at least for that rather well-appointed bit of the West in which he resides.

"Given what I have stated on record about independence, a Yes vote would make me look like a complete tit, an utterly useless and self-serving wanker promoted well beyond my competence by a UK Prime Minister in thrall to his US employers", he told delegates to the Confederation of Republican Arms Purveyors conference in Washington DC.

"Any activity which makes me look idiotic in public, such as making ridiculous predictions in a speech, would be catastrophic for my civilised lifestyle. It could threaten the very non-exec positions I now enjoy as a reward for doing exactly what the USA told me to when I was the head of NATO.

Now, that would be a catastrophe in anyone's language.

Robertson


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