BBC Scotlandshire becomes the most popular news channel

By Pam Door, our Showbiz Correspondent

losersBBC Scotlandshire is now officially the nation's most popular news channel, as chosen by the Scotlandshire Facebook community.

At time of writing, this channel had 1285 likes, 185 more than its nearest rival, STV's Scotlandshire Tonight, with just 1090 likes.

The Director General of BBC Scotlandshire, Ken McWorry has welcomed the vote of confidence given to this channel by the people of Scotlandshire, saying:

"Feasgar math, bhiewers. This wonderful award vindicates my own view that a state broadcaster with an undisguised bias towards the status quo, and strict obedience to the wishes of it's paymaster in Westminster, can still command a staunchly loyal audience for its output.

"However, to win this great accolade over our rivals in Scotlandshire Telebhision is even sweeter. Though not consistently biased, they do try hard to emulate us, and manage to get it right on many occasions. They should be commended for that."

The very well groomed #scotshirenight presenter Jock MacKay said:

"We are obviously disappointed to have come second, but to be beaten by the undisputed masters of biased reporting is no shame. I only hope we can be just like BBC Scotlandshire when we grow up."

Fellow presenter Rona Dougall (Ooh she's sooo wee and cute! Don't you just want to squeeeze that face?) also commented, saying:

"At least we totally trashed Newsnicht Scotlandshire. They only got 271 likes. It would have been awful to be beaten by a ridiculous spoof news channel like that!

weather"That other satirical programme, Distorting Scotlandshire, managed to get 458 likes, but still didn't come close to us. I'm actually quite proud of that."

We asked Ian Davidson MP, chairchoob of the Scottish Independence Committee for Awful Politicians Arguing Regardless of Clear Evidence Learned Over Frequent Requests and Opening Gambits to Undermine Everything Scottish, for his opinion. He told us:

"Ahm gled in a wiy that thon BBC Scoatlandshire won, cause thy aye agree wi us doon here.

"Mind you, ah wish youse widnae keep making up wee quotes fae masell an Johann – a never said ony ay they things youse reported. Ah dinnae even talk like that.

"See, youse ur still daein' it. Stoap it. It isnae funny.

"AH SAID F---IN GIE IT A REST, HEN, OR YOUSE UR FUR A RIGHT DOIN'!

Ah. That's better. HEY! WHIT THE F-?"

Figureheid of Labour in Scotlandshire Johann Lamont was unavailable for comment as there is no TV in her secret George Square bunker and she hadn't seen any of the channels.


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