Betrayed! - CI5 minders turn on Britnat Labour MP

By Frenndly Fyre, Our Security Correspondent

professionalsShockwaves were reverberating through the BritEstablishment as the Special Branch minders assigned to NoBloodyThanks! tubthumper Jim Murphy tired of the lies and turned on him!

Normally, protection for politicians in Scotlandshire is provided by the Special Branch of Police Scotlandshire. However, Murphy and others on the side of righteousness and righteous indignation have demanded that cover be provided by Special Services Professionals from London.

"After the SNP Government made desperate efforts to protect police pensions in Scotlandshire", said Lauren Order, Crime Correspondent for the Times, "the police in Scotlandshire are just a quasi-military force of McAskill's."

The flashpoint came on Thursday of this week, when Jim’s "Annoy 100 onlookers in 100 days" tour hit Kirkcaldy, Fife. Earlier, his minders had shown signs of unease at the person introducing BritLabour frontbencher in Dundee saying that "in the event of a Yes vote, that shop over there will be GroatLand- because we won’t have the Pound...and as for British summertime, well youse can forget that too!* (*editorial: these are not 'representitive' comments. They are the actual words used by the person introducing Mr Murphy ahead of his addressing a strongly 'yes' crowd in front of the Caird Hall and can be viewed on videos on the address)

The detail had also been unhappy at Murphy’s reply to an ex-serviceman when asked about the BritLabour Defence spokesman about his opinion on Britain sending soldiers ill-equipped into illegal wars. "Is that the best you’ve got?" would hardly seem the way to reply to a measured question from a veteran who had served in the same unit as CI5 minder Brodie.

Perhaps Mr Murphy's belief that the "Military Covenant" is a drinking establishment for squaddies has caused a considerable amount of confusion in the big debate.

And so, as the crusading politician stood up to talk in Kikcaldy his minders turned.

earpieceCaught on video by Dysart business man, George McZapruder, the footage clearly shows Murphy enter the plaza and then his minders, egged on by the crowd, move in for the "kill". Some say 2 eggs, some say 3; some say they heard the word "scramble!" but as the footage clearly shows, the MP was hit and it was the final egg to the head that did the damage- before the assassin sped off in the direction of the grassy knoll just outside Tesco.

The effect was immediate. Despite saying he would not be silenced, ‘Eggy’ Murphy as the MP is now being called, has cancelled dates (and all other fruit) and is arranging to poach alternative protection from the Israeli police - who are said to be "delighted" with the gig.

But what of the men involved?

Speaking back home in Sussex, Ray Doyle, who has been in CI5 since the Thatcher Days commented: "Look, I have seen some sh*t in my time and heard some too I can tell you. But this guy, and the people around him? Honestly, they are just too much!"

Now home in Swindon, 'Earpiece' Brodie, Ray’s ‘oppo’ continued: "It started off sweet enough. Just the usual porkies out of his mouth and no one really paying much attention. But then he starts ramping it up by getting more controversial and spouting just utter rubbish! And as for that ‘rent a crowd’ minibus of supporters he has travelling with him now, well God knows what they’re being paid, but I tell you - it ain’t enough!"

George Cowley, head of the crack CI5 unit comments on the incident: "It is unfortunate that these two operatives went off the boil but rest assured Scotlandshire, more of my boys have been scrambled - and are protecting the right-thnking No campaigners and also, in the giuse of council workers and starting in honest British Labour-run Fife, removing splittist propoganda from roadsigns and, at the same time, defending the right of our great landowners to proudly fly the ‘NoBloodyThanks!’ banners across this great British land of Scotlandshire. And there’ll be no badges at work either - not on my watch."

Cowley added menacingly: "Whether my boys are there officially or not, we'll be there to crush dissent. You know my mantra 'Fight eggs with fire!"


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