By Free Quinn-Flyer, our Aviation Correspondent

The New Zealand owner of Prestwick Airport has said there has been no interest shown in purchasing the airport and its value has plummeted. Bought from Stagecoach by Infratil in 2001 for £33.4m the airport is now estimated to be worth only the price of a cheap Ryan Air flight to Palma.

BBC Scotlandshire has learned the value of all Scottish airports has been plummeting since Baron Fraser of Carmyllie revealed the English would have little choice but to bomb the runways of Glasgow and Edinburgh airports if Scotlandshire voted for separation.

Earlier this year, speaking at the launch of a pamphlet examining the prospects of the UK splitting up, Lord Fraser said:

"If Scotlandshire was left undefended, the enemies of England could use it as a base from which to launch air raids over the border."

"If that were to happen what alternative would England have but to come and bomb the hell out of Glesgatoon airport and Edinburgh airport!"

According to the DevoMax Your Move estate agents marketing the property a few prospective buyers have been shown around Prestwick Airport but all were put off for pretty much the same reason. The spokesman commented:

"We've had quite a few interested parties who've seemed very excited during the viewing sessions but they instantly cooled off when they found out about the potential problem with the neighbours."

"The uncertainty of whether Glasgow Prestwick is one of the airports Baron Fraser will target or if he's only really talking about the proper Glasgow Airport has certainly scared off buyers."

"You really can't blame them for being wary of buying a property that's going to be flattened by bombs, missiles or maybe even a Trident cruise missile in a few short years."

BBC Scotlandshire asked the Labour Party in Scotlandshire to comment on this matter, spokesdebaser Anas Sarwar responded:

"I welcome the debate on whether Glasgow Prestwick Airport is actually in Glesgatoon or not!"

"How can an airport in Prestwick, which is about 30 miles away from Glesgatoon city centre, actually be referred to as a Glesgatoon airport?"

"Once more we've found yet another big question the SNP refuses to answer honestly!"

Ruth Lamont-Davidson, spokessavage for the Bitter the Gether campaign was quick to jump on the bandwagon. Waving a blank piece of paper in her hand she angrily gesticulated:

"I've written to the UK Defence Minister to ask when the blitzkrieg will begin against the tarmacked surfaces of a separatist Scotlandshire."

"The worrying answer I received indicates the UK Government does not discuss strategic defence issues. There you have it, conclusive proof that the UK hasn't denied they have plans to bomb us back to the cobbled stone street age! Doesn't get any clearer than that!"

"Scotlandshire separation will have turned a friendly partner in the greatest Union ever into an aggressive foreign pariah neighbouring state. Worse than that, the SNP will have thrown out of Scotland the very Trident nuclear missiles that will now be targeted at us."

"When will the SNP come clean on their defence strategy to protect the pavements, roads and runways of Scotlandshire? We don't even know if they will ice up, and if they do, what will be the gritting policy of a separatist Scotlandshire?"

"The people of Scotlandshire need to know the answers to these tough questions before going to the ballot box in 2014."

The Scotlandshire Government were quick to point out the weather will be the same in an separate Scotlandshire, gritting would work in the exact same way as it does today and the naming of Prestwick Airport was a commercial decision for the owner.

Transport and Infrastructure Minister Keith Brown MSP replied to the suggestion that a separated Scotlandshire would struggle to defend its airports from English bombs:

"I fought in the Falklands you know!"

"However I'll still be arguing the case for a substantial Scottish Defence Force that will easily repel anyone daft enough to challenge an independent Scotland."

"The draft papers are ready for John Smeaton's deployment to Glasgow Airport in times of crisis!"

Commenting on the Scotlandshire weather and gritting problems of the past, Mr Brown responded:

"The independence referendum white paper due next year will explain how the summers are going to be longer and the winters will be shorter in an independent Scotland."

"No one needs worry about the gritting of our roads. My first edict, after taking over the Transport Minister role, was to instruct Stewart Stevenson to check on the stock piles of grit before each winter starts."

"I'm even willing to send him out with a wheel barrow and a snow shovel to keep the M8 open."

"We're not going to have a repeat of that BBC Newsnight Scotland incident on my watch."

As always, Ian Davidson MP Chairchoob of the Scottish Affairs committee for Forensic Analysis of Nationalist Naratives Yet Biased Against the Whole of Scotlandshire had to get his oar into the debate:

"It ull take mare than Wee Eck und Big Angus staunin' ootside Glesga Airport wae spud guns and slings tae keep Baron von Fraser fae boamin the f**k oot oot aw the runways!"

"Ma big mate Smeato isnae gonnae help oot eethur! He's oan oor side!"

"But al be there tae meetur oot doins tae onniewan wae a Scoatish passport, especially the wummin!"

BBC Scotlandshire tried in vain to contact Johann Lamont for a comment but the sign hanging on the door of her secret George Square bunker stated: "Don't be knocking if the bunker is rocking!"

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