U-KOK say sorry for Hitler/Darling photographs

By Hugh Jerrar, our Campaign Cockup Correspondent

darling-hitlerU-KOK officials were forced to issue an apology today, as fury erupted over images depicting Alistair Darling with former Führer Adolph Hitler, which were posted on a Better Together website.

The former German Chancellor, once thought dead, had been invited to speak as part of the Better Together celebrations of the outbreak of War in Europe. World War II began in September 1939, exactly 75 years before the referendum on Separation.

The photographs were taken at the closed 'No Bloody Thanks' meeting, where U-KOK head Darling shared a platform with the genocidal mass murderer, were later published on the satirical Vote No Borders website.

Within minutes of publication, floods of angry tweets and comments appeared from appalled members of the public, forcing the owner of the MI5-funded website, Tory donor and No campaign tool Malcolm Offroad, to remove the offending page from his site.

A short video of the notorious dictator stating he was voting No for world peace was also deleted.

'Fool me once'

A spokesflipper for Mr Darling fibbed: "Naturally, Alistair had no idea the man he was appearing alongside was 'your actual fu*king Hitler'. In fact, he thought he was debating with Great British icon Charlie Chaplain.

Hitler Facebook"That said, we should probably have checked Hitler's Twitter feed before confirming the gig. To be honest, it's not the first time we've been caught out like this, but Adolph's page seemed fine at first glance.

"The listing reads Ein Volk, Ein Reich, Ein Fuhrer - All views are my own and do not represent those of the Third Reich. We had the foreign bit translated and apparently it means 'One Nation, One United Kingdom, One Prime Minister'. Now that could have come straight from Miliband or Labour central office, if you think about it."

'Bloody foreigners'

"I honestly don't know what I was thinking, appearing on camera with such a foreigner-hating, right-wing monster", Mr Hitler later told reporters.

Labour spin-paramedic John McTiernan added: "What's so bad about Hitler? We're going to need some strong leadership after a No vote to keep those splittist Jock bastirds in line. Who better than Adolph to implement all the new Tory cuts we're planning for Scotlandshire when Labour forms the next UK government?"

'We're sorry. We're sorry. We're so, so sorry.'

In unrelated incidents, two former Labour Prime Ministers made unprecedented public apologies today. Tony Blair expressed his deep regret at being photographed kissing Colonel Gaddafi, while Gordon Brown said he was terribly sorry for campaigning alongside a blinking trougher like Alistair Darling.


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