By Roger Rabbit, Our Good Taste (in carrots) Correspondent

There was outrage in Toon Town, as news emerged that a human (we use the term loosely) was using toons for political purposes, designed to bring the Glory of Empire crashing around our one-dimensional ears.

In a disgraceful breach of the Commonwealth Games self-denying ordinance, to say nothing that could possibly risk a YES vote, Moodie has exposed the real nature of Unionist politicians as toons, and not human.

"This is typical Natz racism" tweeted prominent Unionist lawyer, and the human form of Dick Dastardlly. "Sturgeon must be crying in her soup, that English toons were cheered around Hampden".

However, a spokesplitter claimed that Smart "wis aff his heid on the sauce, or jist aff his heid." The Deputy First Minister was not partaking of her broth, but visiting Arbroath, whilst wearing a Team Toon hat, to demonstrate that Scotland was a country which had lots of toons, and would welcome other toons like Berwick as well.

Meanwhile, Chancellor George Osborne (the eminence grease of the Tory eToons) whispered, "Have this Moodie scourged, Master. Lest he exposes that which should never be exposed - us."

Other prominent Empire supporters rushed to deny that they were, in any way, devotees of the toon conspiracy.

Alastair Carmichaelmooretoon, denied that he was a cardboard cut-out. "If I was", he said, "you could see the scissor marks, and I would go all soggy in the rain." The interview was cut short (as was Alistair) as traditional Scottish summer weather returned.

Ruth Davidsontoon, leader of the Toytown group, said that she was relaxed about being outed. "I've been outed before. In fact, at every fu*king election, I get outed!"

Debater of the Year (the year being 1209), Johann Lamontoon, gave a spirited defence of her position by being unavailable for comment.

BBC Scotlandshire is reliably informed (Jimmy the janny told us) that no reputable publisher, such as the BBC, or the BBC, will publish Moodie's foul works.

He will deservedly fail, unless readers are so craven, gullible or treacherous as to go to THIS WEBSITE and give the bastirt any money!

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