Cybernat abusers under Salmond's control, says pished Peer

By Torquil Cretin, our Cyberwatch Correspondent.

w-c-fieldsThe Daily Mail has today released devastating new evidence which they claim proves beyond all doubt that nasty cybernat tweeters are being directly controlled by Alex Salmond.

A secret memo, sent to all cybernat activists, was leaked to journalists at the Daily Mail by Lord Foulkesake of Cumminit, the one-time socialist turned socialite who coined the word cybernat.

He was apparently sent the memo in error after retweeting thousands of cheeky comments from Yes campaigners.

The volume of his separatist retweets led to him being mistakenly identified as a campaigner for separation by Cybernat Black Ops Squad Command (CyBoS). Alex Salmond's office then sent him the damning memo as part of a welcome pack which included an SNP membership and a copy of the Scottish Government's white paper (remaindered).

The accusation follows a major gaffe by the life peer as he took to Twitter to complain about racist online cybernat abuse of hereditary MP Anus Sarwar. Unfortunately for the pair, the tweet in question was from a Manchunian supporter of the EDL. This error was quickly exposed on the seditious blog Winge over Scotland, causing the good Lord to turn his ire on Bathist cult leader, 'Reverend' Stuart Camp-Bell instead.

When questioned by this channel, Baron Foulkesake gave the following response; "Not all nasty, abusive Cybernats are from Scotlandshire, you know. Lots of them are ex-pats like the 'Reverend' Camp-Bell himself.

"Just because the nutter who abused Anus was a supporter of the English Defence League doesn't mean he's not a Cybernat. He is clearly a Nationalist of some sort and has a keyboard. That'll do for me.

"Mind you, he no longer has a Twitter account since we finally got round to checking his previous tweets. Then we had a quiet word with Twitter.

"Anyway, I invented the concept of the Cybernat, so I get to decide who counts as one and who doesn't. Now where'sh that other bottle of Laphroaig?  Damn, (hic) I've left my 'driving' Scotch in the motor."

We also asked his Lordship whether all this online fighting with Yes campaigners, along with his propensity to tell obvious whoppers after a few medicinals, was properly dignified behaviour for a peer of the realm.

In reply he quoted James VI&I who had stated, when similarly challenged by an English courtier, "Ah'm the Lord's Anointed. Ah dinnae dae dignity!"

cybos-memo

In other news, as our contribution to the third successful week of the Cybernat Watch at the Daily Mail, we asked our friends at Yew Choob productions to create a musical tribute.

Here is what they came up with.


Related Articles

Winge Over Scotland : Cybernat of the week


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