By Nat Hunter, Our Westminster Correspondent

Scottish Labour’s sole intellectual, inspired by an inspiring inspiration that UKOK was inspiring nobody, set out to provide an inspirational vision that the UK is …, well, OK.

Writing in an obscure Edinburgh journal, Mr Alexander explained how reasonable people should always show solidarity with other members of the family (except sisters, of course, when they get in the way of your ambitions).

Explaining why Scots should vote to be worse off in an OK UK, he said, “I’m an intellectual, so my words really shouldn’t be questioned (especially by that Nordic Valkyrie Lesley Riddoch!).

"There are poor people in Peterhead. There are poor people in Portsmouth. There are poor people in Perpignan. It’s because I’m not a nationalist that I can say ‘Sod off’ to the French. You don’t get a share of our oil, just as the poor people in Peterhead and Preston don’t. That’s the British way of doing things.

“Unless we continue to support increasing inequality, then Labour will have nothing to struggle against, and struggle is what we are doing over this independence nonsense.

"Justice demands that we must be entitled to struggle against the struggle for democracy, the struggle for equality, the struggle to position myself for this photo so that the Squinty Bridge appears as a halo around my head

“We in Labour understand socials. Our founding fathers believed in socials. I’ve got a wife, and she's a fine wee lass, a bonnie wee lass, is bonnie wee Jeannie McCall I gave her my mither's engagement ring and a bonnie wee tartan shawl. I met her at a wedding in the cooperative hall, I was the best man, and she was the belle of the ball.

“People in Portsmouth understand that. Bloody foreigners in Perpignan don’t.

“I believe strongly that every place covered by the Union Flag should receive the same close attention. However, it’s only common sense that those bits best placed to thrust forward, should receive massive support, and the bits left behind need a good smack to stimulate activity.

“We believe in the Common Wealth (it’s typical of the splittists that they miss out the last 2 letters). We remember with fondness when Oliver Cromwell brought Scotland into the Commonwealth of England in 1652. 

"The new Scotlandshire ‘gained 30 members of parliament, but many posts were not filled, or fell to English agents of the government, and had very little say at Westminster.’ What was good enough for Scotlandshire in the 17th century should be good enough now."

 Labour candidate for Falkirk, Karen Whitfield, giggled when asked for her opinion. "Don't ask me!", she squeaked. "I don't have views on difficult things like that. I'll just read out the speeches I'm given.

It's so embarassing to think of the silly girlish things I said last time I tried to get into a Parliament - but I was only in S2 then. I'm a big girl now."

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Related Articles

Scotsman : Insight: Struggle, solidarity and social justice

Scotsman : Lesley Riddoch: Working out the way ahead

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