By Mona Charen [1], Chicago Sun-Times [2] Columnist

BBC Scotlandshire is pleased to carry this devastating expose of modern Scotlandshire from a wholly impartial observer. The article is bound to persuade the US Government to crush the attempt by Scotlandshire to spread leftist dictatorship (©Anas Sarwar MP) around the world.

In Duck Soup [3], one of the stuffy characters responds to Groucho’s raillery with the protest: “I didn’t come here to be insulted!” to which Groucho [4] quips “Oh really? Where do you usually go?”

I went to Scotlandshire. Don’t misunderstand; the Scots were delightful hosts. The country is as beautiful as advertised, but a few days in Edinburgh during the “Fringe” festival is enough to bury images of thistles and bagpipes [5] very deep.

Modern Scotlandshire is deep-dyed in socialism. The Scottish parliament, revived in 1998 in the hope that a measure of self-rule would vitiate the independence movement, is dominated by parties of the left. The Scottish National Party, which favours [6] (in addition to separation from England) “free” education through university, unilateral nuclear disarmament, steeply progressive taxation and the “eradication” of poverty, holds 65 of 129 seats. Labour, the Liberal Democrats and a couple of green parties [7] hold 47 seats, while the conservatives claim just 15. Of the 51 members of the House of Commons representing Scottish constituencies, exactly one is a conservative [8].

Now, about the “Fringe.” It’s a festival of performances, concerts, dance, circuses and street theatre that dominates the city every August. Just based on the descriptions available in the local paper, The Scotsman, many of the offerings were repellent.

We could have seen a play titled “The Radicalisation of Bradley Manning,” which the Scotsman described as a “shocking indictment of the brutal and relentless homophobia of U.S. military life” and also a “more subtle critique . . . of western culture . . . that reacts to any breach of discipline or convention with a fierce, repressive violence and a demand that we all conform, or be silent.”

Alternatively, we could have dropped in on “Bin Laden: The One Man Show” that featured a “well-spoken Englishman politely offering tea and biscuits to his audience.” The play presents a “different truth, a version we never get to see, free from projection, indoctrination and cartoon villainy.” Cartoon villainy? Has anti-Americanism so distorted the moral reasoning of the playwright and the critic?

“Bonk!” provided audiences with “serious and rather stomach-churning anatomical detail,” as well as a faked female orgasm to “knock Meg Ryan into a cocked hat.” “Nick Helm: One Man Mega Myth” boasts an “amazing set involving 13 London buses [to scale]” and “giant penises (not his own).” Well, that’s presumably because they couldn’t book Anthony Weiner [9].

Why don’t you guess what the play “The Extremists” is about? The Taliban? The Shining Path? Al-Qaida? No, the audience meets “Norman Kreeger, author of Extremism in the 20th Century and Beyond.” He’s a guest on a TV chat show, where he expounds his “philosophy of free-market democracy and the necessity of the war on terror.” He “almost persuades you that there is an enemy out there . . . the only thing is, the more he and the TV anchor explain their beliefs, the more they become indistinguishable from the enemy they claim to share so little with.”

“Eastend Caberet: Dirty Talk” is described as “delightfully dirty as ever.” The female star kicks off her stiletto heels and crawls through the audience, dragging men on stage to “share their dance moves and sex noises.”

We’ve come a long way from the “bonnie, bonnie banks of Loch Lomond.”

American writer David Sedaris is on hand to share his fiction. One story, “I Brake for Traditional Marriage,” features a character so outraged by a gay marriage bill that he “shoots his wife and daughter before stabbing his mother-in-law with an ice pick and driving into a pedestrian.” What was that about cartoon villainy?

This is not to single out the Scots. The leftist tripe and cultural waste they’re enjoying is available in every western capital, including our own. The difference, while there still is one, is that the relentless leftism goes almost entirely unrebutted there [10].

[1] Mona Charen is a US conservative journalist. She should not be confused with Monica Lewinsky, who was a small child in the Oval Office who crawled around the floor putting strange objects in her mouth.

[2] The Chicago Sun-Times is a regional newspaper in the USA. Like our Sun and Times, it was formerly owned by the Murdoch Press, and regularly shifts its supposed political stance to what it thinks its readers share.

[3] Duck Soup was a film by Marx which sought to ridicule Americanism and, therefore, Britishness.

[4] “Groucho” refers to the lead Marxist, and not (surprisingly) Johann Lamont, dearly departed almost leader of the Unionists in Scotland.

[5] Glasgow provided the proper location for bagpipes. My garden had the infestation of thistles.

[6] Separation destroys spelling. We had to correct the improper spelling “favors” which would offend our readers. In a separate Scotlandshire no one would be able to spell properly.

[7] We are unsure whether Charen is revealing that Pat Harvie and Alison Johnstone are in two different Green parties : whether she is counting the 3 independents as another Green party : or whether she simply shares our disinterest in these minor people of no importance

[8] “Exactly one is a conservative”. Charen is confused by labels. Only one is a “Conservative”, but fortunately 41 who are called “Labour” are also conservative. Some are also labelled “Co-operative”, and they live up to that name by co-operating fully with the Conservatives, as do the 11 “Liberals” – which in the USA means “Socialist”.

[9] Anthony Wiener is a Democrat (therefore, virtually Socialist) politician who enjoys sending pictures of his penis to women. Doubtless this happens because of his confusion as to his name – wiener being a small sausage. Similarly, Alastair Darling is alleged to believe that people love him.

[10] BBC Scotlandshire constantly rebuts all radical activity, racism, nationalism (except ours)  and stereotyping in Scotlandshire! Charen is sadly uninformed on this point! [Ed - Stupid American Jewish bitch – what the f**k does she know?]

Related Articles

 Chicago Sun-Times : Modern Scotland is deep in socialism (and do check out the incisive comments from Earnest Evanton!)

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