By Muhammad Bin Raker, Our Naughty Correspondent

After a Freedom of Misinformation enquiry from our intrepid reporting team at BBC Scotlandshire, it has come to light that the spoof BBC broadcaster across the water at Pacific Quay are about to attempt a £4 billion refurbishment to allow their new Good Morning Scotlandshire presenter Mr Naughtie to enter the building.

It became apparent that Mr Naughtie would be unable to enter the building due to his challenging physical enhancements.

Those in charge at Pacific Quay had been blissfully unaware that Mr Naughtie would have to carry his Westminster bubble into the building and indeed would need specialist equipment to broadcast from within the bubble.

A spokesman for Pacific Quay stated: ”We had no idea that the London based political reporters were required to maintain a strict, in bubble isolation policy, wherever they broadcast, even in regions such as Scotlandshire.”

It is apparent that the powers that be at Pacific Quay did not realise that the new spoof BBC headquarters in London had been built with enlarged doors and larger bullshit enabled studios to overcome the problems that had presented at Broadcasting House. In the past these difficulties had on occasion forced the removal of the essential bubbles causing a great deal of stress and confusion as presenters and guests alike felt free to discuss the regions (Scotlandshire) as though their needs could actually have any impact on policy at Westminster.

The spoof BBC spokesman also assured us that Mr Naughty, as part of his indoctrination, would undergo the full psychological training that union supporting spoof BBC journalists rapturously undertake to ensure their natural bias is at its faultless peak.

It is the view of this broadcaster that no expense should be spared to ensure the high standards of PF (project fear) are maintained. We do however have some doubts as to whether Pacific Quay can deliver due to interference from spoof BBC governors, some of whom labour under the misconception that taxpayers money should be spent on debating separatism rather than concentrating the spend on saving the mighty and glorious union.

A spokescrawler for the Scottish Labour poodle, Johann Lament, said: “Jo Jo probably thinks Mr Naughty’s expensive move to the North of Britain is a good idea, he’s one of us isn’t he?”

But he couldn’t be sure as no one had seen or spoken to her for the last few weeks.

Related Articles

BBC in Scotland (spoof website): Scottish independence: BBC's James Naughtie takes referendum role

The TeleTorygraph: James Naughtie: no stranger to the political gaffe

Wikipedia: James Naughtie

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