By Sev Moraine Forest our Environmental Correspondent

The Scottish Greens have formally opted for separatism, but their decision to work "with Yes Scotland to set out a transformational vision for Scotland's society" creates huge uncertainty as to what would happen if Scots were so stupid as to separate from England.

BBC Scotlandshire has discovered that the various political parties, interest groups and individuals who make up the tiny "Yes Scotland" campaign do not share a single agenda.

They have different policies on a number of things and, consequently, claim that they cannot set out, in detail, every policy that will be adopted in an isolated Scotland over each month of the next 1,000 years.

Instead, they all repeat the ridiculous mantra that they want people in Scotland to decide what is best for that region, instead of relying on the better judgement and financial beneficence of Westminster.

Speaking after the vote, Better Together spokesbot Tweedledee opined "A separate Scotland will be Green, so they will transform all roads into flower beds or allotments : all cars, buses and lorries will be converted into stationary "piece camps", where impoverished Scots will queue to receive pieces (jam ones would be a luxury only for the elite) from UNESCO".

Better Together Spokesbot Tweedledumb complined "The Rine in Spine falls minely on the pline. Ai'nt that rite 'Enery 'Iggins? Us Londoners get f**k all but greef from thees Scots."

Better Together Spokesbot Tweedledumber whined, "When I say my name is Wullie Rennie, everyone blanks me.... You still there BBC Scotlandshire?"

Better Together Spokesned Ian Davidson MP, Chair of the Select Committee Against Reforming F**cking Anything Caledonian Ever, refined his base, in a moving address, "This is a recorded message. Ian Davidson has moved to a new address."

Better Together spokesklebb Johann Lamont declined to comment.

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