BBC CONFIDENTIAL Internal Memorandum – Not for publication. BBC CONFIDENTIAL

PRESS RELEASE

Embargoed: Not for publication before 00:01 Wednesday 03 October 2012

Attn: NEWSDESKS
POLITICAL CORRESPONDENTS

[EMBARGOED] NORTH LANARKSHIRE COUNCIL CONSULTS ON £70M CUTS PLAN

A major consultation gets underway later on a £70m savings programme which could cut hundreds of jobs and reduce services at North Lanarkshire Council, because of savage cuts by the separatist SNP “Government”.

North Lanarkshire aims to save £70.3m between April 2013 and March 2016

All 148,000 households in the area will receive a 20-page booklet outlining the need for £73.3m of savings between April 2013 and March 2016.

Cuts options

The proposals for the latest round of cuts could (but actually won’t) lead to the equivalent of 1,362 full-time jobs going.

We have made a wholly unbiased selection from the 281 potential options for councillors to consider which include:

• axing lunchtime school crossing patrols to save £300,000;

• axing Christmas lights to save £200,000;

• moving bin collections from a fortnightly cycle to a three week cycle;

• introducing charges for some parts of the pest control service and reducing grants to Citizens Advice Bureaus.

Additionally, we had intended to include the following:

• axing payment of £15 Christmas gift to older people to save £905,000.

ENDS

When we passed the draft story to John Smith House for clearance, a Labour spokesman commented “For Foulkes sake, you can’t say that!”

“That bribe goes to every rich geriatric we can track down, so that they’ll carry on voting Labour – so we don’t apply any f**cking means test either!

“If we did that, then Mad Dog Shug McHeroin (43) wouldn’t be able to claim his £15 for all 1,000 of the bus passes he gives us for evidence for each of his claims – and the council would have to lay off my cousins who work hard all year administering the scheme!”

Ian Davidson MP, chair of the Scottish Affairs committee on Supporting Conservatives to Undermine Mandate responded “Whaur’s ma cut ay that? Ahm a F**kin' MP, ye know”

An aide for Johann Lamont (unavailable for comment after really stuffing up her recent speeches) said. “Shit!”

Of course, I spiked the story at once, as per policy.

Obediently yours,

Jobe Farrah Boyce - Local Government Correspondent

Note from DG: What the f**k is this doing on the web site? Are you off your head? Fix It! NOW!

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BBC Scotland: http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-glasgow-west-19762430

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